Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
