Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
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If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize