i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think a kid would responsible me up
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
