its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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