i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
