keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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