Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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