We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
