i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
