i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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