you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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