They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
