Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
