I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
