I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's no shave November. This is our time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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