Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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