i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
