i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
