So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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