My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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