WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
