It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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