Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
