Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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