Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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