my vag is so smooth its legendary
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
