guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
