Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
