you would pick up someone in the library
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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