Define "chronic" masturbator.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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