You're so nebulous sometimes
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
