i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize