I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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