...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
