I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm at about main and main street
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
