if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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