Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
