they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
