no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
