Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
