i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
