when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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