I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
