The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize