The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
