Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
