Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The feeling are messing with the penis
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
