So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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