Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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