Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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