as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
