Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
