He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That accounts for only three of the penises
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
