And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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