You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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