In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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