They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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