There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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