Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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