Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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